Holiday haiku

Some time on my hands
Seconds From Disaster on
Holiday haiku


Business class travel
Superiority bought
Lounges mean free beer

First, to Gibraltar
Just to pick up my tickets
Cheaper to start there

Just like part of Kent
(Except they drive on the right)
Cool barbary apes


Dubai for three days
Heat oppressive; bus tour dull
Guinness wonderful


A few days at home
Mostly preparing to fly
Much like the Bluetones

Although, I am wrong.
Their album was really called
Expecting To Fly


To Australia
23 hours, with one stop
Film channels broken

Brother in Sydney
Waiting for me, 5am
Sleep is for losers

Acclimatising
City centre, beer and pool
Clovelly, then home

Mara's, and the zoo:
My family and other
Animals (Durrell)

Steve Irwin is dead
Australia in mourning
Get over it, sheesh

Boats, bridge, and Bondi
(Junction and beach); monorail
Pokies, racism

Randwick and Manly
Martin Place, Darling Harbour
Kochie on Sunrise


Quick pop interlude:
I like to move it move it
I like to move it


Weekend in Auckland
Boats, the Domain, Sky Tower
Branches of Subway

Volcano, no soil
Hundreds of plants, no wildlife
Too many photos

Sydney flight delayed
Seat 1B, English Darren
Way too much to drink


5 hours coast to coast
Rubbish plane with no TV
Domestic flights suck


Perth and Fremantle
Bon Scott's grave. Let there be rock!
Dolphins in the Swan


Hong Kong. In daytime,
Grey, drab, and way too humid.
Breathtaking at night

Star Ferry, Peak Tram
Ngong Ping skyrail, huge Buddha
Day at the races


Singapore, too hot
Purveyor of magic shoes
Night safari, zoo

Sentosa Island
Six quid fifty pence a pint
You heard. Six fifty.


Half day in HK
Upgraded in the hotel
Early morning flight


Tokyo, Japan
Limousine to hotel
The Marunouchi

English not spoken
Hardly any Diet Coke
Intimidated

Saw the Emperor
Subway tickets a struggle
Akihabara

Ginza, then Antwerp
Watching the guy next to me
Incredibly drunk

Time to get a grip
Explore and experience
Not be defeated

Shinjuku station
Park, with hobos and a shrine
Discarded porn mags

Around Roppongi
Embassies and Hobgoblin
A bar called Boozer

Subway to Ueno
Decided against the zoo;
Watched fountains instead

The Sony building
In Ginza, stopped for a pint
More beer was to come

To Ryogoku
Not on any of my maps
40 beers on tap

Popeye's, a great pub
Beers wheat, smoked, local, foreign
Four pints please, "domo!"

Day in Hakone
SUPER EXPRESS ROMANCECAR
To see Mount Fuji

Train to Yumoto
Bus: Motohakone-ko
Hakonemachi

Pirate ship on lake
Ropeway to the cablecar
Back to Yumoto

Cans for the journey
English pub, the Rose and Crown
So long, Tokyo

Time travel is odd
Timezone I to timezone R
A very long day


New York. HATE HATE HATE
HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE
HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE


Back down to Earth. Bump.
Two eight five bus to Kingston
A fat cat no more.


At home now. Work soon.
But an extra three days off
Appreciated

Might go out quite soon
These boots are made for walking
That's just what they'll do.