come back to what you know

#1:Telewest have sent me some marketing spiel telling me how much they really want me back as a customer, and just how great their TV and phone and internet services are. Sent to an address I've not lived in for nearly a year, it goes to show just how fucking useless they are (since I stopped working for them, obviously). I mean, it would be fair enough for them to send it me had I just closed the account last year. But I didn't just close it. I closed it and told them I was moving out, and I know for a fact they got that -- and that they have my current address too -- I even blogged about it in my old blog! Except what I didn't mention there because I barely wrote another entry was that a few days later they bloody sent a collector round -- to my current flat -- to get the set-top box from me. Which I didn't have. And after a bit of to-ing and fro-ing I ended up with a phone call from some director's PA promising that they're now investigating their procedures and stuff and apologising wholeheartedly and all that gubbins.

Dear Telewest: I won't be coming back, you fools.

#2: Death and black metal are back, and in a grand way. See, after having my Dad round for a bit in the morning on Saturday me and Wooj watched Surrey be fucking shit at cricket for a few hours, then on a totally random whim I looked at the Peel's website. What did I find there? Extreme metal night. Now, I've discovered by being a regular reader of Metal Hammer, Terrorizer, and even Kerrang, that there is a noticeable trend in metal bands rediscovering what made music so great in the late 80s and early 90s. I mean the classic things:

• names like Fleshrot and Necroritual
• song titles like The Stench of 1000 Dying Infants and Drowning in Menstrual Excrement
• screaming or singing, not both (Killswitch Engage, Still Remains, et al: I'm looking at you)
• undecipherable logos

The last point is absolutely key, and OH MY GOSH did Fleshrot and Necroritual ever get that right. This flyer demonstrates it wonderfully, and this flyer shows that there are loads of bands doing it: fucking large! Obviously the main problem with Saturday was Artisian, and we quite literally intended to arrive too late to hear them just because we could make out their name too easily on the flyer. But we actually didn't miss them, and they were pretty good. Odium Incarnate weren't bad either, a lot better than expected based on listening to the stuff they've got on myspace. But the final two bands..

Necroritual. Corpsepaint and spiked armbands and all that shit, down the Peel. Fucking superb! As it happens I'm not the greatest fan of black metal, at least not all that orchestral nonsense that seems to be popular. Stuff like Enslaved and Opeth, for example. I saw Emperor back in 1997 which IIRC is before half of them got put in jail or summat (I really should know, I have read Lords of Chaos...) and thought, well, meh. But anyway Necroritual don't have a keyboard player. They've got a great vocalist and a really tall guitarist whose live sound was ... a bit rubbish, really, and another guitarist who I couldn't hear. Shame. But they didn't half put on a decent show and I really liked the vocals. I have videos available.

But who cares about Necroritual? I did, for a bit, but then came Fleshrot and OH MY GOD THEY WERE SO LARGE. The start was inauspicious: no vocalist in sight and the others looked pretty normal. The intro riff to their set was decidedly not black or death metal, more stoner rock than anything. Wooj looked and me and I looked at Darrell and Darrell looked at Wooj and we all wondered whether the wrong band were on. And it didn't look like it was getting any better when the vocalist did come on. Fat bloke, hair not excessively long, stood by the mike not doing anything, just facing the floor with his face covered as the stoner riff continued.

WTF? turned into WTF! pretty sharpish when the vocals did kick in. Not just the vocals, but the riffs. Just everything! Their music was so damn large. It had bits of everything: death metal, black metal, thrash metal, grindcore, even a bit of punk. The vocals were almost solid Cannibal Corpse (Chris Barnes era) but he had a bit of high pitch on him 'n all. And as it goes I've not got much more to say. Fleshrot were quite simply fantastic. I've already plans to go and see them at the Cartoon in Croydon next week (also on the bill are a band called Beef Conspiracy!) and if I'd had my way I would already be the proud owner of a Fleshrot t-shirt. They just weren't selling any. :-(

I fucking love metal. And this Saturday I'm going to see Celtic Frost with Cryptopsy and Gorerotted and whoever else (doors open at 1630!). I've also just been promised a bunch of extreme metal that "makes Cannibal Corpse sound like Westlife" from Hans, and that in turn has reminded me to look up Vital Remains and Deeds Of Flesh, two other bands he recommended last week. And if there's a man who knows the best extreme metal bands to listen to, it's Hans. I'd raise a glass to him if I wasn't having an all-too-rare dry day.